This post is dedicated to Emily.
For the third year in a row I’ve gotten to celebrate the new year attending the Passion conference, which has been one of the most significant blessings of my young adult life.
I first attended Passion as an insecure senior in high school, overtaken by anxiety and fear. Desperately needing rich, spiritual community & a major renovation on my heart and mind. I had no clue what was in store for me at this conference, or if I’d leave with any benefit at all, but I had been praying for so long that God would do something radical and reassure me He was truly working for my good. He then surely did.
Through the conference, that first year, I met some of my best friends, recieved tools and weapons I’d need to guard myself during the biggest trial of my young life (so far), and got my first hint from the Lord that ministry might be the path I’d be sent on as my career. And each year since, has only provided me with more of these things.
This year, the conference began on the first day of the year, (also the day after my birthday). So I spent my entire birthday, traveling to get to Atlanta where it was held, and praying for God to work in me again. (What a cool way to spend my 20th birthday, just in constant prayer, all day.) I had been on my toes for months in excitement at what this gathering would hold for me. Of course I had expectations from the previous year, but also, of course, this years’ passed all my expectations.
The entire conference was amazing, and the Lord was so prevalent throught it all, but the last few hours of the last day held an event that I just cannot stop thinking about. At the end of each conference, there is a time where all who are ready to accept Christ as their Lord & Savior, are invited to stand up. I’ve been present in many of these amazing mass salvations, however I’ve never been so affected by a complete stranger finding Jesus, than I was with Emily.
People began rising to their feet all around me, and we all began rejoicing in our brothers and sisters home-coming. There were so many people standing, all over the stadium, and my heart filled with joy. I began looking around, scanning the crowd, taking in the moment, when my eyes fell upon a girl standing behind me. She was standing, arms open wide, head to the cieling, eyes closed, trembling, and just bawling. I didn’t see anyone else standing, putting on such a physical display. And of course you could see some faces around her looking a little un-easy, unsure how to act… that’s how powerful this girls energy was. But I just felt my heart sink into my stomach, and almost a tug to go walk over to her. So I pushed through the crowd around me and walked over to her to reach my hand out to her to pray. As I did so she collapsed to her knees, and began pouring her heart out to Jesus, crying for forgiveness and thanking Him for this feeling of true love, love she hadn’t felt. I was just in awe. Honestly, I had some kind of strange feeling, maybe a yearning to feel God in the moment as strongly as she was, or again maybe me just trying to take in what was happening before me. But I also immediately had this sense of awesome wonder, an amazing feeling. I felt weirdly – amazing on the inside… By then a few other girls had walked over to lay a hand over her.
As we all reached out, to her, I was surprised to see she was so overwhelmingly focused on Jesus, that she had no awareness of us being around her. Her eyes were solely on Jesus. How pure.
The second my hand touched her I got this rushing feeling of warmth, starting at my hand, and flowing through the rest of my body. It was a really good, warm feeling, but I also remember feeling “hot”. Not an uncomfortable hot though, a refreshing type of heat… it didn’t really make sense. But as I was hearing us all praying aloud, it reminded me of the coming of the Holy Spirit in Acts 2. How in verse 3 it said, “And there appeared to them tongues as of fire distributing themselves, and they rested on each one of them. ” Now no, us praying did not begin speaking in tongues or anything that crazy, but to me it just kinda clicked that maybe I was feeling the coming of the Holy Spirit on this girl. And as that thought came to my mind, I began to hear her repeat out loud, “I’ve found You.” “I’ve found You.”
Those words were so powerful, and again just filled my heart with joy. They also had a ring to them, that sounded so dang familiar. She kept repeating, “I’ve found You, I’ve found You.” & I began hearing a familiar tune in my head…
“I found You…”. I couldn’t think of what exact song I was remembering, but I kept humming the tune. After we had finished praying, I went back to my seat – the girl still hadn’t opened her eyes to where I could catch her attention to say anything to her. While I sat and the last few moments of the Passion conference rolled through, I quickly whipped out my phone to google those words and see what song I was remembering. You’ll never guess the title of the song….. “Passion”, by Hillsong United. Boom.
Finally as it came to a conclusion, and we all began to file out, I ran up to her quickly and grabbed her arm. I told her I had come to pray over her, and that I felt such joy in that moment. She began to cry a little more and thank me, she was still very shaken up and a little out of it. But I managed to ask for her name, so that I could keep praying for her. She told me her name was Emily, and then we quickly had to leave. I can’t go but maybe a couple hours without thinking about her and that event again.
So Emily, welcome to the family sis, and thank you for allowing me to feel the Holy Spirit with you. I will constantly be praying for you, and jamming to that song.
“Passion” by Hillsong Young & Free
With the worst yet to come
I was on your mind
On the cross, as the crowds cursed your name
Heaven’s eyes turned away
Still you thought of me
Even death couldn’t keep all your love for me
But you died, so that I could have life
There’s no greater love than this
I know you love me so
Beginning and forever
I sing of all your passion won for me
I sing of all your love first done in me
Your love will never change
Beginning and forever
I sing of all your passion won for me
I sing of all your love first done in me
I found you
I found you
I found you
I found you
I found you
Risen from the shadows
Seated on the throne of majesty
Higher than the skies and all the sea
Risen from the shadows
Seated on the throne of majesty
Higher than the skies and all the sea
I found you
I found you
I found you
I found you
I found you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
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