So it’s been a while since I’ve actually sat down and wrote a good few paragraphs, and I have been feeling a bit discouraged. I question why I can’t always think of something weekly to go deep into, I’ll pray for some kind of guidance for something to write but feel as I’m getting noooo help from the Lord whatsoever in that moment. But, ministry isn’t a thing that is easy for anyone, I realize I share as I learn. And the Lord waits to give me that lesson before I share.
With that on my mind today, I was looking through my pictures I took during trips in places where the Holy Spirit had moved me. On these trips I got to spend precious time with friends I gained spiritual relationships with, and fell in love with the atmosphere of being surrounded by not by, any means a perfect community, but a community in which I knew the Holy Spirit was so strongly present for me. And these places changed my life. The Lord revealed life long friends to me as well as what I think is part of His plan for my future, and how I can serve him during my life on earth. So coming back home from these places, where I felt some of my heart had been left in a church that truly connected with me, leaving friends I so desired to be with, and leaving a city where I felt there was so much of an IDEAL opportunity for me to start serving the Lord on a daily basis, was extremely depressing for me. Not that my hometown doesn’t have opportunity or beloved friends… but it had felt so good to be around people that I felt had nearly identical common interests as me or a true understanding on my goals to serve the Lord for my future. I was a little angry at God for showing me such a beautiful place, and then not giving me the opportunity at the time to stay there. I realized, this sounds again, much like the story in Mark 5: 1-20 // This will be the part two of the series with this story.
Link to Mark 5: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+5
This story in the Bible is simply titled, Jesus Restores a Demon Possessed Man. Now in my first post about this story I gave a very unprofessional but to the point explanation of it’s meaning hahaha! It is a very quick read and I ask that you read it ( link above) along with my first post for a more detailed or easier to understand description// link – http://rebeccaafirth.tumblr.com/post/151729664083/hey-yall-so-this-is-going-to-be-part-1-on-a
The man in this story lived in the region of the Gerasenes, a place the gospel was not well known. Jesus visited the Gerasenes, and the man was the first thing he saw as he stepped to shore. This man was so broken, that when asked his name by Jesus, he replied “Legion, for we are many” ( Legion, meaning, a great number of demons). The demons begged Jesus not to cast them away from the area, for it was an area vulnerable to their maliciousness. But rather begged that he let them posses a herd of pigs over on the hill. Instead of casting them out of the area and away from the people as you’d expect, he surprisingly said “yes.” And therefor allowed the demons to posses the pigs of the area. Then, Jesus instantly healed the man from his possessions.
Imagine, your whole life, in complete darkness. This man was an outcast, physically unhealthy, dirty, physically harming himself, and his mind was being influenced by the enemy. He was trapped in spiritual darkness. Now this man.. SO broken was immediately overwhelmed by the goodness of his Savior. So of course going from complete darkness, to seeing the brightest most beautiful light of the Lord, would feel AMAZING. and you’d want to stick around that goodness. So as Jesus was getting ready to leave, the man who had been possessed begged to go with Him. He wanted to leave the region where the people didn’t understand his desire for the Lord and go with Jesus where he would constantly be surrounded by that love. But Jesus said simply, “No.”
So let’s get this straight… Jesus said YES to the demons wishes, but NO to the man who loved Him and wanted to accompany Him? Uh……………………..?
So this point for me was like, I’m in these places where I feel close to you Lord, but your telling me I can’t stay?? And I’m willing and ready to speak of your goodness, but you don’t give me the words to say?? Why are you telling me NO? Why would you have said yes to DEMONS, but no to those who LOVE YOU?
This is where the cool part comes in. Yes Jesus said yes to the demons wishes to posses the pigs.. but immediately after they went into the pigs, the pigs jumped off the cliff to the demons doom. AHA. And YES, Jesus said no the the man who wanted to truly be with Him and love him. However what Jesus said next changed everything.
18 As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with him. 19 Jesus did not let him, but said, “Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.”
Jesus wanted the man to stay where he was so he could serve the Lord in his region that so badly needed to hear the gospel.
20 So the man went away and began to tell in the Decapolis[b] how much Jesus had done for him. And all the people were amazed.
And he did so for the rest of his life. God had purpose in his “yes” and he had purpose in his “No”. So as I thought to myself, why is the Lord telling me no right now? Why hasn’t he given me a brain that can whip out a professional sounding teaching of His Word when I WANT to? Why are those that live for themselves rather than Him, seem to be having it made, but not me? Because he has POWER. He has power over what our ideas of approval and denial are, He has power to change our circumstances, He has power to rid of us of our burdens and give us a lamp unto our fit to lead us through our surrounding darkness that WILL NEVER BURN OUT. And sometimes that first comes as a “No.” There is purpose in your season of waiting. There was purpose in Him sending the man back to his homeland and there was purpose in Him sending me back to my hometown. To serve Him where it is needed. And he is the only reason I am finding the words to write in this moment.
“For when we are in spiritual darkness, and break, our brokenness gives just enough cracked space for the light to peep in. God only needs the tiniest of cracks to create a miracle, and he continues to break you until you are flooded by nothing but spiritual light.”
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